I'm thinking this 'want or need' thing, with a bit of encouraging, is going to sink in. it's not worked 100% today, but it's the first day, and it works better than anything else. i didnt' eat that well today though, it's all because of mydad. because our relationship is really weird i find it hard to say no. and we're both so alike, we get into routines and we just cannot get out of them. for example, when i 'recovered' for a while, i would have a small chocolate bar after my tea every thursday and friday night (the days i see him.) and now i want to stop eating but it's SO routine it's just difficult to. :( and he cooks such big meals cause it's practically a chef and everything is full fat, double cream, etc.
Anyway, my intake. i don't know the calories :(

Morning -
hot chocolate

Break -
Coffee with two sugars (big cup)

Lunch -
ham and cream cheese (light) sandwich, small fruit pot.

Dinner -
jacket potato with ... here it comes....BUTTER and CHEESE.

Snacks after diner -
(prepare yourself to be disgusted)
four chocolates
Three jelly babies
Four grapes
handfull of peanuts

i know it's only small things but they add up and i feel disgusting.
tomorrow i'm at my dad's AGAIN. i dread going. i love my dad so much, but the MEALS he cooks. and ebcause of our weird relationship i can't say anything about it :(

i'm lending him a slimming recipe book though, maybe he'll take a hint!


keep strong everyone <3