okay so i haven't blogged in a while. since..sunday? maybe.

anyway, the two day fast failed at the first hurdle! however, i'm not too upset about it. i woke up monday and i still had flu, and i thought there's no way i can get over this with my exams in a few weeks (15 hour art exam starts tomorrow!!) and fasting for two days. so i decided not to do it. i wuoldn't even normally have breakfast but i did because i wanted to make sure i got better. i'm recovering i'm almost there, just got a cough and still blowing my nose quite a bit.

Thinking about it, before i re-started all of this fasting stuff, my routine involved eating less food than i do on some days now. i would have no breakfast (well sometimes but mostly not) and then a sandwich at lunch then tea. it's just that i'd snack in the evenings. to be honest i'm thinking of just going back to that with a few fasts thrown in. cause i've completely changed my whole eating habits. i didn't even realise i had a routine, but i definitely did. now i have no routine whatsoever (not one i stick to anyway) and i eat more. i need some more control.

i might go back to eating what i feel comfortable at. sometimes breakfast, sandwich, then tea but try not to snack. then when i feel like it i'll try a two day fast. i don't want to force myself in to not eating when i dont' feel like i want to do it, cause then i'll just fail and eat twice as much as i would normally.

this feels like a defeatist attitude, like i'm giving up. but there's no way i can go another week eating too much, my stomach sickens me. maybe i'll start posting some pictures of myself up here so that i can motivate myself more. i'm gonna start swimming more too, but the thing is the time because i really need to do shit loads of revision and art, it's taking up my life to the point where i can't even go out now. MEH. eat healthy now, exercise when i can.